Clunky Prose Extravaganza!
We’re back to editing! In this episode, D.C. and Avery take a look at one of Avery’s old email roleplaying game posts and polish up some very clunky, cringey prose using some of the craft topics we’ve discussed so far.
Books and authors mentioned:
- Forging a Nightmare, by Patricia A. Jackson
- The Goldfinch, by Donna Tartt
- David Copperfield, by Charles Dickens
Drink Recipe: Trash-Can Punch
A random amount of the following:
- Kool-Aid (any flavor)
- Orange Juice (bottled, not fresh-squeezed)
(to download, right-click the Download button and choose “Save File As”).
Felana gave a glance down at her perfectly manicured black-painted nails as she replied to Mal’s question. “No. I believe he probably made it up, the attention-starved fool.” She brushed a lock of her long dark brown hair out of one of her violet eyes. “Think about it. Earth?” She gave a short derisive laugh. “That planet has been practically picked clean of energy. Nothing of worth exists there any longer, I can guarantee you that.” She sighed as she remembered her duty. “I’d better get back. Who knows what ruin my house may fall into in my absence,” she sighed again, slowly. “You know how to summon me if I am needed.” Mal gave a faint nod.
And with that, Felana twisted the silver band on her left hand middle finger, murmuring the word that activated the teleportation spell. The ring was forged by a member of her house, house Lycanthro. Lycanthro was reknowned for their abilities as silversmiths. Felana smirked. Odd that old legends referred to silver as the metal of choice to harm shapeshifters. Her ring was also enchanted by a member of House Apocalypse, to facilitate her quick arrival if an emergency meeting was called. She was engulfed by a hazy violet mist, and when it cleared, she was in her own chambers.
Word Count: 217
Felana glanced at her perfectly manicured onyx fingernails. “No. I believe he probably made it up, the attention-starved fool. Think about it. Earth?” She gave a derisive laugh. “That planet has been picked clean of energy. Nothing of worth exists there anymore, I guarantee you that. I’d better get back to keep an eye on Spunky. You know how to summon me if I’m needed.”
Mal gave a faint nod.
Felana twisted the silver band on her middle finger, murmuring the word that activated the teleportation spell, and was engulfed by a hazy violet mist. When it cleared, she was in her own chambers.
In private, Felana kissed the ring. Her special ring. Her very, very special ring–forged by a member of her house Lycanthro, and enchanted by a member of House Apocalypse. A jewel that had become a friend to her, regardless of her being a werewolf. Odd that old legends referred to silver as the metal of choice to harm shapeshifters.
Word Count: 158
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